


how long have you loved him?

by Tea_For_One_Please



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxious Carlos, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I will protect these boys with my life, M/M, Post-Canon, seb is a yeehaw boy okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22680688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea_For_One_Please/pseuds/Tea_For_One_Please
Summary: Carlos knows for certain that he loves Seb. Unfortunately he doesn't choose the best moment to tell him for the first time.
Relationships: Seb Matthew-Smith/Carlos Rodriguez
Comments: 9
Kudos: 73





	how long have you loved him?

Carlos doesn’t know when exactly he figured it out. He was definitely aware of Seb before _High School Musical_ – after all, East High is not a massive school, and he tends to see the same faces in the crowds every so often, even though he’s never really been a part of them himself.

Their first conversation came shortly after Miss Jenn’s announcement for the fall musical when Seb unexpectedly approached him to ask about the plausibility of a boy playing Sharpay. Carlos knew he liked him from this moment: he admired his confidence, although there was a sort of breathless nervousness in his demeanour as well. He smiles whenever he thinks of the way his face lit up when Carlos told him he should absolutely audition, and for whichever character he liked.

He was pretty sure he _liked_ him from the moment of the auditions. The attitude and determination with which Seb marched onto the stage, belting the chorus from _Stick to the Status Quo_ (perfectly in tune, no less) was captivating, and Carlos is a little embarrassed to admit that it rather took his breath away.

As for when he knew he loved him, though? That’s a little harder to pinpoint.

Actually, when he thinks properly about it, he’s pretty sure he can narrow it down to one of two moments. The first was the homecoming dance: he’s certain he’s never spent three hours so miserable that someone wasn’t there. Then, when Seb did arrive, his adorably dorky quip that their ties matched moved him in a way nothing had before.

The other moment was during the whole debacle of Miss Jenn’s meeting with the school board. Carlos is the first to admit that he didn’t spend enough time with Seb during that week. “You know, you could have told me.” He can still hear Seb’s words in his head, his voice small and filled with hurt and concern, partially for himself, but mostly for Carlos.

He wasn’t sure before, but now he’s certain. He loves Seb Matthew-Smith.

“Earth to Carlos,” a voice is saying. “Do you copy?” He shakes himself out of his reverie and his gaze focuses on the boy across the lunch table from him, an amused expression on his face. “You okay?” Seb asks.

“I’m good,” Carlos says with a smile. “Just thinking.”

“Yeah?” Seb lifts an eyebrow as he pops a segment of his orange into his mouth. “What about?”

Carlos glances around at the rest of the group, absorbed in conversation, before replying. “You.”

“Stop it,” Seb mutters teasingly, but Carlos can tell he’s pleased.

“I was!” Carlos protests, making Seb laugh and shake his head.

“So what do you want to do tonight?”

“Tonight?” Carlos looks blankly at him, and Seb frowns.

“You _have_ remembered we’re going out tonight, right?”

“I thought we said Thursday?”

“Carlos, it is Thursday,” Seb says, with the vaguely concerned air of someone talking to a mad person.

“Shit,” Carlos mutters, although it’s drowned out by the sound of the bell ringing across the cafeteria.

“Why, do you have other plans?” Seb asks, a little testily. He shoves the last of his orange into his mouth and tosses the peel into the trash as they head for the door.

“Miss Jenn asked if I could stay to talk about the spring musical,” Carlos says apologetically.

“Oh, is that it?” Seb asks, his tone a little more neutral. “That’ll take, what, a half hour?”

“I have to go home after,” Carlos says, becoming more and more uneasy. “Before I left today my mom said I have to help my dad clear out the garage.”

“Oh.” And suddenly the frosty edge to Seb’s voice is back. “Carlos, we planned this over a week ago.”

“I lost track of the days!”

“But this was the first time we’ve been able to arrange in, like, two weeks!” Seb’s clearly frustrated, and Carlos can see why.

“I didn’t realise it was today,” Carlos says, desperation creeping into his voice, “or I’d have gotten out of it.” He gets no answer, so he keeps going. “I’m sorry, Seb.”

“It’s fine,” Seb says, although his tone and expression strongly suggest otherwise.

“Are you sure?”

Seb shrugs. “Yeah.”

“I really am sorry,” Carlos says softly. “I love you,” he adds, without thinking, and doesn’t realise what he’s said until Seb freezes, blinks in shock, and gives a shaky, nervous laugh.

“You picked now, of all moments, to say that for the first time?”

“Seb – I didn’t – ” Thinking that he’s angry, Carlos panics and starts to stutter. “I didn’t mean – ”

“What, you didn’t mean it?” Seb says. Judging his facial expression, Carlos may as well have punched him. “Then why’d you say it?”

His mind still blank of any form of coherent response, and still trying to process what the hell just happened, Carlos bites his lip to stop himself from choking. “I don’t – ” he tries, but Seb cuts him off.

“Because I’m pretty sure you know that I love you too, and if you were only saying it so I’d stop being mad, that’s cruel.” With that, he feels his heart stop. Seb holds his gaze a moment longer, his eyes soft with hurt, before turning and walking away to his next class.

Carlos spends the rest of the day entirely distracted from what’s going on around him, his thoughts unswervingly fixed on Seb. When his chemistry teacher tells the class to pair up, he barely even notices that there’s an odd number and that he’s working alone. After all, if Seb were there, he’d have partnered with him.

When his math teacher asks for their homework, he accidentally gives her a page from his classic literature notebook. After all, it was Seb’s favourite class after drama.

When Miss Jenn proposes _Beauty and the Beast_ for the spring musical, it doesn’t even occur to him to point out that they only performed this particular show two years ago. After all, Seb wasn’t involved last time.

When at last he’s finished in his parents’ garage and is able to go upstairs and collapse on his bed, his first thought is to text Seb. He spends dinner thinking bitterly how he should be having dinner with Seb. What if things are ruined for good?

His parents settle down in the living room to watch a movie, but Carlos decides to go and hide in his bedroom and mope. There’s only really one person he wants to spend time with, but that’s not exactly an option now.

Fifteen minutes later, he’s tapping through uninteresting Instagram stories when the idea hits him. It’s only seven-thirty: why isn’t it an option? What’s that saying – make amends while the sun shines? No, that’s hay. Well, never mind. What better way to show Seb that he’s important to him than by sneaking out and going to see him? Besides, once he’s retreated to his bedroom, his parents almost never disturb him, so if he’s quiet, they’ll never know he’s gone.

He pulls on a sweater and a jacket (it’s January, after all) and turns off the lights in his bedroom, leaving only his bedside lamp switched on. Then, sneaking down the stairs, he slips out of the front door, closing it silently behind him. It’s a shame that he can’t get away with taking his car, since it’s cold, but it only takes about twenty minutes to walk to Seb’s… ranch? Farm? He’s never sure.

Once there, he scans the building for Seb’s window. The lights are off and the curtains are open, which mean he’s not in his room. This is a good start, as he doesn’t really fancy climbing up on the coal-shed roof to reach his window. He’s about to go and knock on the front door when he notices that there’s light coming from the barn at the other end of the driveway. He knows Seb often goes out there to get away from his family for a bit, so Carlos thinks it’s definitely worth a look.

He doesn’t really want anyone to see him from the house, so he sticks to the shadows as he approaches the barn. There’s a small knot-hole in one of the wall panels near the door, so he closes one eye and presses the other to the hole. His heart jumps when he sees Seb, leaning on some straw bales and writing something by the light of an oil lamp. A large brown cow is curled up next to him, chewing absently on the straw. It’s quite a sweet scene, and Carlos watches for a moment before taking a deep breath and knocking on the door.

“Yeah?” He still sounds sad, Carlos thinks, as he pushes the door open. He steps inside to enjoy the astonished expression on his boyfriend’s face. “Carlos?” he asks in confusion. He stands up and half-jogs across the hay-strewn floor of the barn until he’s standing two feet in front of Carlos. “What are you doing here?”

Carlos considers his words carefully. “Showing you that I meant it.” A ghost of a smile passes fleetingly across Seb’s face. “I’m sorry about tonight,” Carlos says sincerely. “And for earlier on, too.”

“I’m sorry too,” says Seb quietly. “I know I overreacted.”

“Maybe,” Carlos shrugs, “but you were right, I didn’t exactly choose the best time to tell you that I love you.” Seb chuckles, closing the distance between them and wrapping his arms around Carlos, resting his head on his shoulder and hugging him tightly.

“You want to stay?” he asks. “Or do you have to go home?”

“I can stay,” Carlos says softly. He lets go of Seb and follows him over to where he was sat, eyeing the cow warily. He’s still not fully used to hanging around with large animals, which he knows Seb finds deeply amusing. Realistically, he knows they’re no threat to him (the cows can be quite cute, actually) but he doesn’t like the way they look at him, so he sits down on Seb’s other side. “What were you working on?” he asks, as Seb absent-mindedly gives the cow a scratch between her ears. He bites back a fond smile: he finds it immeasurably endearing when Seb treats the animals as if they’re simply very large dogs, especially since he’s often unaware of it.

“Oh, just math homework,” Seb says carelessly. “Nothing important.”

Carlos glances at it and frowns. “Seb, this is due tomorrow.”

“Is it?” he says, with a mischievous grin. “Oh well.”

“You need to do it, Seb,” Carlos insists. “I’ll help, if you like.” By way of response, Seb pulls a handful of straw from the bale they’re leaning against and drops it on Carlos’ head. “Sebastian!” he gasps, swatting at his hair and smacking Seb in the chest, as Seb collapses into laughter.

“Your face,” he splutters, wiping his eyes. “A little straw won’t kill you, you know.”

“That’s it,” Carlos says in a lofty voice. “I’ve had enough of this disrespect. I’m leaving.” He stands up, brushes himself off, and turns to leave. Seb catches him and pulls him back, but they overbalance, and wind up lying on the straw bale, giggling. “These things look way comfier in cartoons,” Carlos says, wincing, and Seb laughs as he leans over Carlos and kisses him.

“Anywhere is comfy if you’re there,” he says, kissing him again.

“You’re ridiculous,” Carlos murmurs, leaning up to meet Seb’s lips partway.

“That’s why you love me,” Seb grins, tracing circles on Carlos’ chest. Carlos chuckles and nods, as Seb adds, “Love you too.” Carlos brushes a stray strand of hair off Seb’s forehead, before pulling him down into another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! If so, please leave a comment with your thoughts or hit me up on Tumblr! My url is @tea-for-one-please and I post various multifandom stuff, including HSMTMTS!


End file.
